When a Mental Health Provider Ghosts You

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I had an appointment.

Confirmed. On the calendar. Mental health. Jumped through insurance hoops and their 7 page life questionnaire. 

I showed up on time—because when you’re already carrying too much, the least you can do is not be the problem.

Ten minutes passed.

No call.
No text.
No message.

Nothing.

So I emailed her to say she was ten minutes late.

Only then did she respond.

“This Never Happens, But Something Came Up.”

Ah yes. The classic.

If this never happens, you wouldn’t already have the sentence locked and loaded.

Here’s the truth:
If something comes up, you communicate before the appointment time. Not after you’ve been nudged like a forgotten casserole in the oven.

That’s not grace.
That’s professionalism.

And Then Came the Audacity

After ghosting me, she tried to move me into a new time slot—during my working hours. When I declined, she tried to get me to move it to TOMORROW, on a SUNDAY. 

Translation:
Her schedule is sacred. Mine is flexible.

No.

I rearranged my life for this appointment. I got up before 8 am on a SATURDAY for this fucker. You don’t get to miss it and then dictate the repair.

The appointment was ultimately pushed to next Saturday.

A full week delay in mental health care because someone couldn’t send a five-second message.

Why This Isn’t “Just One of Those Things”

This wasn’t a hair appointment.
This wasn’t brunch.
This wasn’t Target running long.

This was mental health care—the very system that lectures people to:

  • Ask for help

  • Show up

  • Be consistent

  • Advocate for themselves

And then punishes them with silence when they do.

If I had been ten minutes late with no notice, I’d be labeled unreliable. Noncompliant. “Not ready for treatment.”

But when a provider does it?
It’s an oopsie.

Funny how accountability only flows one direction.

Burnt Sage Truth

If you work in mental health and can’t manage basic communication, you are not providing care—you’re providing vibes and invoices.

People don’t need perfection.
They need respect, predictability, and follow-through.

A text takes seconds.
The damage from silence lasts longer.

Next Saturday better show up like it knows my nervous system has receipts.

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