Ask Her How She’s Doing. Then Shut Up Long Enough to Hear Her
Take her out. Let her order the second drink without making a joke about it. Let her laugh too loud for a minute. Let her loosen the death grip she keeps on herself every hour of every day just trying to function in a world that constantly asks women to give more than they have. Then ask her how she’s really doing. Not the polite version. Not the grocery store version. Not the “hanging in there” version. Ask her the kind of question that requires you to sit still long enough to hear something uncomfortable. Because you are probably not prepared for that conversation. When the drink settles in and the armor finally cracks open just enough to breathe, she’s going to start telling you about the woman she buried to survive. The version of herself that used to dream bigger. The one who had plans before responsibility ate them alive. The one who used to create, wander, dance, rest, laugh from her stomach instead of performing happiness from her throat. She’s going to tell you about the...