Stop Expecting People to Show Up Like You Do

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 Let’s just rip the bandage off:

You shouldn’t expect people to show up like you do — not your friends, not your coworkers, not your damn cat. Unfortunately, that includes your group or coven. 

And before you start with the “but that’s unfair” argument, let’s be honest — it is unfair. But so is life, gravity, and the fact that you can eat right, hydrate, and still wake up feeling like a 20-year-old fax machine.

You’re Built Different — and That’s Not Ego, It’s Experience

You’ve got standards, structure, scars, and a moral compass that actually works. You show up when you say you will. You remember birthdays. You check in when someone’s quiet. You do what you said you’d do — even if you’re exhausted, bleeding, or holding your life together with caffeine and duct tape.

That’s not common. That’s conditioning — born of integrity, trauma, discipline, and a refusal to half-ass your existence.


Most people? They’re still figuring out which end of emotional responsibility goes up.

You, meanwhile, are out here writing the manual in pen.

They Expect the Moon Because You Deliver It

Once people see how dependable you are, they start to build their comfort around you.
You become the lighthouse — steady, glowing, unshakable.

The problem? They forget the lighthouse needs maintenance, too.
They’ll expect you to shine through your storms, because you always have.
And when you flicker? They panic, blame you, or ghost until the next shipwreck.

They expect consistency without contribution.
They want what you give — not who you are.

You Expect From Yourself Because You Know Your Own Power

The difference between you and most people isn’t that you’re “better.” It’s that you know your range.
You’ve tested your limits. You’ve hauled yourself through hell, patched your soul with salt and sarcasm, and still showed up to help someone else clean up their mess.

That’s why your expectations sting — because you’re holding others to a standard you’ve bled to uphold.
And they don’t even realize they’re standing in the temple you built.

Stop Shrinking to Fit Their Capacity

You don’t need to lower your expectations — you need to stop extending them to everyone.
If someone’s repeatedly showing you that their version of effort is a text every three weeks and a vague “we should hang out sometime,” believe them.

You can still love people without loaning them your bandwidth.
You can still care without being their emotional dump site.
You can still wish them well — from a very safe distance.

Your peace doesn’t require their participation.

Here’s the Hard Truth

You’ll almost never get back what you give — not in the same currency, not in the same effort, not even in the same damn decade.
But what you can demand is reciprocity of energy:
Respect for your presence.
Acknowledgment of your effort.
And the bare minimum of emotional maturity not to take advantage of you when you’re running on fumes.

Because if you keep pouring yourself into people who don’t know how to hold a cup, don’t be surprised when you end up empty.

Bottom Line

Stop expecting people to show up like you do.
Most won’t.
But a few — the real ones — will meet you in the fire, bring their own matches, and help you tend the damn flame.

Those are the ones worth keeping.
The rest? Let ‘em live at their own half-charged frequency.

You’ve got better things to do than dim your light for people who can’t even find the switch.

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